


why don't you lay down and sleep

by drfitzmonster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tudor Era, Campfires, Crossdressing, F/F, First Time, Kildare Rebellion, Needy Bottom Lena Luthor, On the Run, Pining, Protective Himbo Kara Danvers, Regicide, Service Top Kara Danvers, Sharing a Bed, Treason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:41:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26351329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drfitzmonster/pseuds/drfitzmonster
Summary: A king loses his head, but our girls find love.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 47
Kudos: 463
Collections: Supercorp Content Creators End of Summer Gift Exchange 2020





	why don't you lay down and sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bearpantaloons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/gifts).



> bearpantaloons i love you. i am so so happy i had the opportunity to write for you. 💜💜💜
> 
>  **CONTENT WARNING:** This fic includes a detailed description of a beheading. Please do not read if you think that will upset you. If you would like to forgo the gruesome part, just skip the first scene. There is one other part that is kind of gross, but the graphic violence is all contained in the first scene.

“Are you sure he’s asleep?”

“He drank so much wine I’m surprised he’s still alive right now.”

“He’s so heavy.”

“I know, but we’re almost there.”

They heaved his unconscious body into his chambers, closing the door and locking it behind them.

Kara sank down onto the floor, attempting to catch her breath. “Just give me... a minute... and I’ll be... ready to go.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. We still have to take his head off.”

“His _what_?!”

“His head, Kara. How else do you think we’re going to prove we killed him?”

“I— I don’t know. I thought we would just take his rings or something...”

Lena sighed and pulled a long, curved blade knife out of the skirt of her dress. “Come on and help me. We don’t have much time.”

“Lena, I don’t know about this..”

“Would you rather stay _here_? With _**him**_?”

Kara shook her head. “No, no. You’re right.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “Ok. What do I need to do?”

“Just, hold him still while I cut through his neck.”

Kara swallowed thickly, her face a bit green.

“Kara, listen to me. Everything is going to be just fine, but I need you to do exactly as I say, ok?”

Kara looked up at her, eyes wide and wild. She looked back down at the unconscious king, placing one hand on his chest and one hand on his shoulder. She looked back up at Lena. “Ok. I’m ready.”

Lena lifted the knife above her head, hoping to gain some momentum so he would be killed with one blow. It was heavy enough, at least she hoped it was as she brought it down for the first—

“Wait!” Kara whisper-screamed at her.

Lena startled and stopped the knife at the last second, almost dropping it. She wheeled around on Kara, face growing hot with anger. “What?!”

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I don’t know what I’m doing! I’ve never killed anyone before. Now _**help me**_ cut his head off before he wakes up.”

Kara steadied her hands as Lena finally brought the knife down on his neck, immediately causing him to wake with a roar and begin to fight them.

Kara screamed. “Oh god oh god oh god Lena Lena Lena he’s too strong!”

Lena could feel him trying to buck them off, his arms flailing wildly, trying to strike at both of them.

“HOLD HIM STILL KARA!” Lena began to saw into his neck with the knife, which was definitely not ideal for the situation. It was much harder to cut through than she thought it would be, and he was so much stronger than he looked.

Kara screamed again and loosened her grip as he clawed at her face. Lena was sure he was going to fight them off, but then she finally severed his windpipe and what was surely a major artery because blood spurted absolutely everywhere and he began to burble, choking on his own blood.

His arms finally fell, his body slackened and stilled, blood still hot and gushing from his neck. Lena had more left to cut through, and she tried to focus on that while Kara turned and vomited all over his body.

“Jesus, Kara. How much wine did you have?”

“I was really nervous. I didn’t want to ruin our plan.”

“You mean _my_ plan, that you contributed absolutely nothing constructive to? Is that the plan you’re talking about?”

“Mine would have worked if you gave it a chance.”

Without stopping she glared up at Kara, cocking an eyebrow.

Kara huffed, “I—” she paused, covering her mouth and retching. “Ok, fine, it never would have worked. But only because we don’t have enough goats. Just please hurry up or I’ll—” she doubled over and vomited wine all over the body again.

Lena gestured toward the wash basin with her knife, slinging blood onto the floor as she did so. “Go clean yourself up. There’s clothes you can change into in the chest beneath the bed.”

“Ok.” Kara took a deep breath but made no attempts to move.

Lena tipped her head toward the basin. “ _Go_ ,” she said, turning her attention back to the dead body in front of her.

She felt the bile rising in her throat, and closed her eyes, pausing for just a moment to try and settle her stomach. Then she continued the task of relieving the king of his head.

It took her longer than she expected, and was much messier than she’d imagined, but she soon had the head wrapped in cloth and stowed safely in the woven basket that would be the head’s home until they reached their destination.

“Um, Lena, these are men’s clothes.”

“Yes they are, Kara. It’s how we’re going to avoid detection. Besides, you know how hard it is to ride a horse in those dresses.”

“But we don’t look like men. People will never believe it.”

“They will when we bind our chests and cut our hair short.”

“What? Our hair? Lena, no. They’ll see right through it and then they’ll kill us.” Kara lowered her voice to a whisper. “Or _worse_.”

“Is there anything you can imagine that’s really that much worse than what we’ve already been through?”

“I... I guess not.”

“That’s what I thought. Once we cut our hair and change clothes they’ll never be able to tell the difference.”

Kara frowned, staring at her own hands beneath the water of the wash basin. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Listen to me.” Lena gently removed Kara’s hands and dried them off. “It’s much safer this way, I promise,” she said softly, taking her hand and giving her palm a gentle squeeze.

“But, Lena—”

She tightened her grip, just slightly. “ _Kara_. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then I need you to trust that I’m going to keep us safe, ok?”

Kara closed her eyes for a moment, and then looked directly at Lena, her pupils overblown, but clear and bright. “Ok.”

“Good girl. Now sit down so I can cut your hair, and then I need you to change and go down to the stables and get two horses ready for us.”

* * *

When Lena finally made it down to the stables Kara was waiting for her. It had taken Lena a while to change into the tunic and trousers she’d acquired for herself. It was strange, not being stuffed into a corset and skirts, not bad, necessarily, just not what she was used to. She found she sort of liked it, although she felt much more exposed with only a couple layers of fabric between her and the world.

Between her and Kara.

Lena found her hiding in the shadows behind the stable, the only part of her visible her two hands, each holding on to the halter of a horse. She was not at all prepared for the figure that stepped into the light. Kara looked incredibly dashing wearing trousers and a linen tunic open wide at the collar, the sleeves rolled back to expose muscular forearms.

Her throat immediately went dry. She didn’t realize she was staring until Kara frowned and looked down at herself. “Is something wrong? Do I look terrible?”

“No, not at all, Kara. You look...” _absolutely breathtaking_ , “very nice.”

“I do?” Kara asked, blushing.

“Yes. I don’t think anyone will suspect a thing.”

“That’s good.” Kara cleared her throat and shuffled on her feet awkwardly. “Did you cut your hair?”

Lena pulled the hood of her riding cloak down, running her hand through her crudely cut hair. She still couldn’t believe it was all gone.

“Oh, wow, Lena...”

“Is it that bad?” Her hand flew to her head. She knew she’d butchered it.

“No, it’s not bad. You look... You’re beautiful, Lena.

Lena scoffed. “I’m _not_. My hair is absolutely ruined. And besides, _beautiful_ is not exactly the look we’re going for right now anyway.”

“Oh, right. Well... I don’t think your hair is ruined. It’s just a little uneven in the back. If you want I can try to fix it for you?”

Lena nodded. At this point she was desperate enough to let her try.

Kara cut Lena’s hair by moonlight, her hands lingering at the back of Lena’s neck when she was finished, brushing the hairs away gently. It made a shudder run down Lena’s spine.

“Lena? Are you cold? You can borrow my cloak if you want.”

Lena shook her head. Kara was so perceptive and yet so oblivious. “No, I’m fine.”

“Well, if you get cold, just let me know,” Kara said, affecting a grave expression.

“I will, Kara, I promise. I appreciate you looking after me.”

Kara nodded and showed Lena a smile that made her stomach do a flip.

She cleared her throat, tring to shake the feeling off. “You packed everything just as I instructed?”

“Yes, Lena.”

“Including his Majesty?”

“Yes. On the back of my horse.” Kara patted the basket.

“And the package?”

“It’s all hidden away just like you asked.”

“Ok. Then we should be on our way.” Lena pulled her hood back up. “The sooner we’re out of here the better.”

“Lena, wait... Are you sure about this?”

“Kara, listen to me. We can do this. We can pull this off.”

“What exactly are we pulling off? We’re murderers now. What are we going to do?”

“We’re taking the king’s head to Silken Thomas.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do. And because then he’ll owe us a favor.”

“How is the head going to help the leader of the Irish rebellion?”

“If he has proof that the king is dead he’ll have no trouble rallying supporters. Then he’ll have plenty of men to lay siege on Dublin Castle and oust the English for good.”

“Because of a head?”

Lena arched an eyebrow. “I might also have a map of the Castle that includes two subterranean points of ingress that even the Lord Deputy of Ireland doesn’t know about.”

“Lena that’s high treason!”

She barked out a laugh. “Are you serious? We _ **killed**_ the king. The King of All England. We have his bloody head in a basket. What’s a little treason compared to outright regicide?”

“But what if—”

“They’ll string us up at Tyburn either way if we get caught. We can’t turn back now.” She reached up and grabbed Kara’s face in her hands. “I need you with me, Kara, to make this happen. Are you with me?”

Kara let out a hitched breath at the contact, her lips parting just slightly, hands moving to rest at the crooks of Lena’s elbows. “Yes,” she replied, just a breathless squeak, and then, more clearly, “Always.”

God Kara was attractive when she was flustered, especially with her hair cut short, revealing her strong, square jaw and prominent cheekbones.

But now was not the time. Lena could think about Kara’s stupid handsome face all she wanted when they’d reached Maynooth, but not a moment before. “Good.” She lowered her hands, and Kara followed suit, stepping back and sighing. “The worst part is over,” Lena said, finally. A lie, perhaps, but that wasn’t the point.

They had a chance, and Lena wasn’t about to let it go to waste.

* * *

They’d ridden as far as they could. They were tired and sore, and the horses were exhausted. Lena wanted to continue on, until they’d put more distance between themselves and Hampton Court, between themselves and the life they were running way from, but she knew they needed to rest. They had a long way left to travel.

They left the road and ventured into the forest until they found a clearing with a little camp site, long abandoned, the only thing left the remnants of a cooking fire. It would suit their purposes just fine, Lena decided, dismounting her horse and taking a look around. “We need firewood,” she remarked, mostly to herself, but Kara took it as a command.

She dismounted her horse gracefully, confidently, like it came naturally to her. She seemed self-assured, for once, so different from how Lena was accustomed to thinking of her. She hadn’t known Kara for that long, but she’d always seemed awkward and bumbling, more corny than clever, but harmless, above anything else.

But now, as Lena watched Kara break a branch thicker than her arm over knee like it was nothing, she began to wonder if she might have misjudged her.

While Kara continued to gather wood, hefting logs onto her shoulder effortlessly, Lena attended to the fire. She had an iron fire striker and a piece of flint she’d gotten from a maid back at the palace. The process was straightforward enough. She was sure she could get a handle on it fairly quickly.

Except she was wrong. Making the sparks was the easy part. Getting them to actually burn was the problem. “Shit.” She growled in frustration. She’d lost count of how many times she’d struck the iron, and every single time the sparks just landed ineffectually and went out.

Kara returned with another armful of branches, dropping them with the pile she’d amassed and joining Lena by the fire. “Do you need some help?”

“No, I don’t need any help. I just need these bloody twigs to catch fire.” She said between gritted teeth. Everything would be fine, if she could just get the fire to light.

She struck the iron again. It sparked, looked like it might catch for real, fizzled out. Again. Spark, then fizzle. Again.

“It’s never going to catch that way,” Kara said, hovering over her.

Lena turned and glared and Kara immediately took a wide step back, hands in the air. “Sorry.”

She just needed to concentrate, which she would be able to do as soon as Kara stopped bothering her. It was fire, she’d seen them lit a thousand times before. You strike the flint, the wood ignites, then you have fire. Easy. So why wasn’t it _working_? She was about two seconds from throwing the flint and striker into the bushes, but Kara stopped her, taking both of her hands.

“Please let me help you.”

Lena relaxed her grip, sighing.

Kara took the flint and fire striker and pocketed them. “The first thing you have to do is make the fire a nice home, or else it won’t want to live there.”

“Really, Kara? I’m not a child.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Lena grimaced. “Fine.”

“You have to start small,” Kara said, kneeling on the ground before Lena’s haphazardly stacked pile of wood. She began to arrange it into a little structure, starting with the smaller twigs and sticks on the inside, and moving outward, leaning them against each other until she was adding the larger branches.

Kara left a small opening in the front, which she pointed at. “This is where the fire goes.” She stood and looked around the clearing for a moment, finally exclaiming _aha_ and going to pull something out of the branches of a nearby tree. She came back to Lena wearing a beaming smile. “Give me your hands.”

“Before we can invite the fire to stay, we have to make her a bed. What’s a home without a bed, right?” Kara said, winking.

“Right,” Lena replied dumbly, her ears growing hot imagining a home, a bed, with Kara in it.

“Hands?”

 _Hands_. Lena held hers up for Kara, letting her turn her palms up, bend her fingers so her hands were cupped. Kara’s hands were so much larger than Lena’s, her fingers broad and calloused. Just like everything else about Kara, they were warm and strong, but so gentle. They made Lena ache to be closer to her, to see exactly what else those hands could do.

Kara placed a scrap of cloth in Lena’s open palms, and on top of that what she had pulled out of the tree: a clump of dead, dry moss. “There,” Kara said, “now she’ll be nice and cozy.” She pulled the flint and striker from her pocket, wielding them both deftly, like she was used to holding them. “Ok, if I hit it just right...” she pulled the edge of the flint slowly along the iron, once, twice, directing sparks into the moss Lena was holding.

On the third try, the sparks started to catch, a white hot sliver landing just so and blooming into the moss like a spiderweb.

“Ok, now close your hands a little— yes, just like that— and blow, gently, to keep it going.”

Lena did as instructed, and the embers began to spread. “Oh! It’s working!” Lena couldn’t believe it. She kept blowing on it, concentrating so hard on keeping it going that when it burst into an actual flame she yelped and almost dropped it.

Kara grabbed it out of her hands. “I’ll take that, and just...” She deposited the fire safely in its new home, and began to feed it dried grass and leaves and twigs, until it roared to life.

“We did it!” Lena exclaimed, and before she could stop herself she was hugging Kara, who reciprocated enthusiastically.

For a moment they were both completely still, arms around each other, bodies pressed close. Lena sighed, pressing her fingertips into Kara’s skin. It felt so good to hold on to her like that, to be held, to cling to her and be grounded by her solid, steadfast presence, her weight, her warmth.

They’d been embracing for far too long, and that the longer they held each other the less they’d be able to brush it off like it hadn’t meant anything. Lena realized, as she pressed her face into Kara’s neck, breathing her in, that she didn’t care. She was going to hold on until Kara decided it was over.

Kara let go of Lena, far too soon, stepping back and shifting on her feet awkwardly. “I’m, um, I’m just— I mean,” she stopped and took a deep breath, “I set a few snares while I was gathering wood earlier. I’m going to go check them now.”

“Oh, ok.” How had Kara had the time to do that? Or the forethought? Lena was still pondering this when Kara emerged from the forest with a freshly skinned rabbit in her hand.

“Look how lucky we are!” She said, proudly.

They watched the fire while the rabbit cooked, or rather, Kara watched the fire and Lena watched Kara watch the fire. She was gorgeous in the warm firelight, shadows flickering over her face, eyes sparkling. Lena allowed herself the indulgence of imagining Kara’s warm body pressed up against hers again, although this time in a decidedly different fashion than before.

Lena’s fingers twitched as she imagined them clutching at a muscular back, moving up a thigh, searching for the softest parts of her. She ached to be close to her again. She ached for Kara to touch her, to crack her shell and split her open so that everything pent up inside her could finally spill out, wet and hot and sticky.

“You’re surprised, aren’t you?”

“What?” Lena startled, Kara’s voice jolting her back to reality. “About what?”

“That I’m more than just a bumbling idiot.”

“No.” Lena said, her jaw tightening at the half lie.

“Lena. Come _on_. All we have in the world right now is each other. You could at least be honest with me.”

Lena sighed. “I don’t think you’re an idiot, just a bit naive.”

“Why did you choose me?”

“Choose you?”

“To help you with this. There were plenty of other girls you could have chosen. Why me?”

“Because you’re simple.”

“Simple? I may not be _educated_ and _courtly_ like you, but I’m not simple. I know plenty of things, like how to start a fire, for one, and I’d like to see you try to set a—”

“No, no wait, Kara, I don’t mean it like that. I just mean that the other girls are schemers, always angling for some kind of advantage or trying to manipulate a situation. I suppose I should count myself one of them, as I hatched this whole plan in the first place. But you’re not like us, Kara. You’re kind, and earnest, and loyal.”

“They’re all just trying to get by the best they can.”

“That’s exactly what I mean. You think people are good and kind, and that’s one of the things I love most about you, but the real world isn’t like that.”

“It could be. If everyone wanted it badly enough.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Kara.”

“Well, I’m sure, and I don’t care if that makes me sound naive. I’m not. I’m a lot more complicated than you think I am,” Kara said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I’m sorry I underestimated you. I wouldn’t be able to do this without your help.”

“Thank you.” Kara looked down at her hands, sighing deeply. “It’s not like I couldn’t tell that I never fit in there, that I stuck out like a sore thumb. It’s just... this wasn’t how everything was supposed to go. I was never supposed to be here.”

“Where are you supposed to be?”

“I’m supposed to be at home, helping my parents run their farm.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“They’re dead.”

“Oh, Kara. I’m so sorry.”

“Everyone in our village started getting sick. My aunt and uncle told me to take my cousin and stay with their friends in another village. They wanted to keep us safe.” Kara stopped, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, Kara.” Lena put her hand on Kara’s arm.

“Thank you,” Kara said, sniffling. “I got a letter that my father was sick, but by the time I made it back to my village, they were gone.”

“Your parents were gone?”

“My entire village.” Kara hung her head. “It was just a pile of rubble when I got there. Everything had been burned to the ground. They were all dead, my parents, my aunt and uncle, everyone. I couldn’t even bury them properly. They’d all been burned to ash.” Kara was quiet for a while, and then, “Do you think their souls made it to Heaven ok? Even though I wasn’t there to help them?”

The look on Kara’s face was absolutely heartbreaking, tear-stained and contorted by grief, but still hopeful, so even though Lena had given up on God a long time ago, she took Kara’s hand and smiled. “I do. I think they’re watching over you right now, and that they would be very proud.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” She pulled a pendant out of her shirt, one that Lena had never noticed Kara wearing before. “This is all I have left of them.”

Lena moved closer, let Kara lay the pendant against her palm. It was diamond shaped, with a serpentine curve in the center. At the bottom it was inscribed with the Latin phrase, _fortiores una_. “Stronger together,” Lena said softly.

“That’s my family’s coat of arms, and our motto. My motto, I should say. I’m the last one.”

“You may be the last, but you’re not alone. I’m right here with you.” She took Kara’s hand.

Kara looked at her strangely then, her head tilted, a little chuckle lighting in her throat. She brought Lena’s hand to her mouth and for one terrifying and glorious moment Lena thought she was going to kiss it.

But instead she just stifled a yawn against the back of her own palm, fingers still intertwined with Lena’s. “We should probably, you know, go to sleep.” She got up and pulled two wool blankets off the back of her horse, saying, matter of factly, like it was no big deal at all, “We’ll be warmer if we sleep together.”

A pang of arousal throbbed between Lena’s legs, radiating outward and settling in her gut. “Yes, I suppose that would be prudent.”

Kara laid out one blanket, folded in half, as a makeshift pallet, and another they could use as a cover. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. And don’t worry about feeding the fire during the night. I’ll take care of it.”

Lena lay on her side, facing the fire, and closed her eyes. Kara dropped a couple more logs onto the fire and then joined her, slipping under the blanket and settling behind her.

Kara put a hand on Lena’s side. “Can I...”

“Yes.” Lena wasn’t sure what Kara was asking, but whatever it was Lena wanted it.

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s midsection, pulling her close so Kara was flush against her back. “Is this ok?” She murmured against Lena’s ear.

“Yes.”

“You’re not too warm?”

“No.” She was burning up, actually, but not from the fire.

“You feel really tense. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I’m fine.” Lena’s traitorous body said otherwise.

She willed herself to relax, let her body lean back into Kara’s. This seemed to satisfy Kara, who tucked her chin over Lena’s shoulder and promptly fell asleep. It took Lena much longer drift off. She spent what felt like ages painfully aware of each point of contact between her and Kara, before falling into warm, blessedly dreamless sleep.

* * *

“If he tries to look in the basket we’re going to have to kill him.”

“We can’t kill him.”

“Of course we can. Henry was much bigger than him.”

“No, Lena. I mean...” she stopped and huffed out a frustrated breath. “I won’t let you kill him.”

“What? You won’t _let_ me? You may not have a choice. Killing him may be the only way out of this.”

“There’s always another way.”

“There’s not always another way, and we have proof of that strapped to the back of your horse right now.”

“I... That was different. We are _not_ going to kill this one.”

“Why do you care if he lives or dies?”

“I don’t. I care about you.”

“Me? What is that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t just go around killing people unnecessarily, Lena. You’re a good person.”

“Am I a good person? Do you really think so? More importantly, do you think _you_ are a good person?”

“I’m...”

“Do you really want to save his life, or are you just trying to prove to yourself that you’re not marred irredeemably by what you’ve already done?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Nothing about this is fair, Kara, but you have to accept that we have put things in motion that are way beyond our control now, and we have a lot less say in what happens from here on that we’d like. We made one horrifying decision, and we will be forced to make more. You have to decide what’s most important to you: being good, or surviving.”

“You can do both.”

“For God’s sake, Kara, you can’t. You have to choose one or the other.”

“It’ll be ok—”

“No, it won’t! Not if you get hurt, not if you _die_.”

She couldn’t lose Kara, not now. Lena needed her now. She couldn’t just crash into Lena’s life like that and somehow make a home in Lena’s heart, make her feel more alive that she ever had before, make Lena fall in love with the way she smiled and her dumb jokes and the way her fingers looked curled into the fabric of her dress.

Kara couldn’t do all of that and just leave.

“Whatever happens, Lena, I’m going to protect us. Trust me. Please?”

There was so much Lena wanted to say, but was too late to argue any further. They were approaching the toll station, which was situated in front of a bridge over the not quite roaring, but definitely too swift and wide to swim across, River Trent.

The toll collector greeted them gruffly. “Three shillings to pass. Each.”

“Each? That’s a bit steep.” Lena scowled. She had plenty of money, but she wasn’t about to act like she did. She knew that toll collectors were opportunistic thieves, and could be worse than highwaymen when it came to preying on the unsuspecting travellers.

“Why don’t you lads get off those horses and we can have a chat. Maybe we can work something out.”

“We’d rather just pay the toll and be on our way.” Kara said, firmly.

“Nonsense, just come have a chat with me.”

Lena looked back at Kara and Kara just nodded at her. Fuck. Kara said she would keep them safe, so Lena was going to attempt to trust her, as difficult as that was. As terrifying as it was. She hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

“What are your names?”

Lena panicked momentarily, but was able to pull “Alexander,” out of the air without sounding too awkward. They really should have discussed names and backstories before this point.

“Um, my name is...” Kara stopped to clear her throat— she really was a terrible liar— “uh, it’s um... Henry.”

Lena immediately elbowed Kara in the ribs. _Henry?_ Lena mouthed angrily, but Kara just shrugged.

This was exactly what they needed right now, to remind people of the king whose head they had in a basket. Lena was livid. If they got out of this alive she was going to smack her.

The toll collector laughed, ugly and wheezing. “Well look at that. We’ve got royalty passing through. Why don’t you come down off that horse, your majesty. And you too,” he said, gesturing at Lena. He waited until they’d dismounted and said, “What reason have you for travelling today?”

“I’m escorting my friend here to meet his fiancee. They’re to be wed at St. Mary’s Church,” Lena supplied before Kara could say anything stupid.

“Married, eh? Well isn’t that nice. You wouldn’t happen to have any celebratory wine with you, would you now?”

“No,” Lena said flatly.

The toll collector did not believe her. “What’s in the basket?”

“It’s just some fish guts,” Kara said, a bit too brightly, stepping between the man and Lena and their horses.

“Fish guts?” The man’s interest was clearly piqued by Kara’s tone. “Are you sure that’s what you’ve got stashed in there?” He pushed Kara aside and began to unlatch the lid.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Lena began to unsheath her dagger, but Kara stopped her with a firm hand on her arm.

“What are you going to do about it?” he sneered, lifting the lid up. They were immediately affronted with a foul odor so strong the man recoiled, slamming the lid back down on the basket. “ _God in heaven, that’s wretched!_ ” he yelled.

Lena breathed a sigh of relief, but kept her hand on the hilt of her dagger just in case. “I told you not to open it. The smell tends to linger in the nostrils.”

“It’s _vile_. Why on earth are you carrying fish guts?”

“It’s for the garden. It enriches the soil.”

“Disgusting.” The man grimaced. “I should charge you double for having to endure that, but I’m a generous man, so I’ll let you pass for just four shillings each.”

“Fine,” Lena said with a sigh. She just wanted to leave. She pulled out eight shillings and dropped them into the man’s grimy hands.

“All right then. Pleasure doing business with you.” He clapped Kara on the back. “I wish you well in your marriage. May your wife keep your cock hard and warm for years to come. And if she doesn’t, well, you can just be like our great King and,” he drew a line in front of his neck with his finger, “off with her head.”

Kara scowled, turning toward the horses, but then she stopped suddenly and whipped back around, punching the toll collector square in the face. He fell backward, knocked out cold.

“Shit, Kara! Shit! What did you do?!”

“He can’t talk about my wife like that!”

“You don’t have a wife!”

“That’s not the point.”

“We need to get out of here. _Now_.”

They both mounted their horses and Kara prodded hers forward. As soon as they began to move the head flew out of the improperly latched basket attached to Kara’s horse, landing on the road and rolling several feet, bloody linen unwrapping as it went like a gruesome red carpet being laid out. It came to rest in a puddle of mud, mouth agape, tongue swollen and protruding, skin grey and bloated, eyes milky white.

“KARA! Get it back in the basket now!”

Kara leapt down and ran for the head, wrapping it back up and stuffing it back in the basket, making a show of securely affixing the latch. She turned, retched, and then got back on her horse with a groan. Served her right.

“Lena I’m—”

“ _Don’t_ talk to me right now. You could have gotten us killed.” Lena was mad. So mad she was crying. She rode her horse hard, letting the wind dry the tears off her face, and Kara, blessedly, stayed out of her sight, choosing to ride several lengths behind her.

Lena was still mad when they stopped at a traveller’s inn and tavern on the side of the road. She was mad while they ate dinner, silently, staring only at their food. She was mad while she finished her beer and slammed her tankard on the table, saying, “I’m going to our room to wash. I’d rather not see your face for the rest of the night.”

Lena was mad as she stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to their room, but by the time she’d shed her clothes and was wiping the grime off her body with a cloth, it had dissipated. Well, the anger at Kara had. What remained was directed within.

She’d known Kara was dangerous since the moment she met her, her lopsided grin and earnest flattery easily penetrating her defenses. She’d welcomed it, like a fool.

Kara waited a full hour before she came to the room. Lena was in bed, her back to the door, pretending to sleep. Kara washed and undressed silently and slipped into the bed, careful not to touch her. Lena could still feel the heat coming off of her.

It was intoxicating.

She wished she could be mad. She wished she could bury her feelings for Kara so deep she’d never have to think of her face or her eyes or the way she laughed when she thought something was very, very funny. She knew she couldn’t. She knew that Kara had gotten under her skin, stuck just under the surface, never far away.

Some things just can’t be buried. So she acquiesced and broke the silence.

“Why did you do it, after all that talk of ‘another way’? Why did you hit him?”

Kara turned on her side to face Lena. “I couldn’t let him talk about someone I love that way. I know it’s silly. I know I don’t have a wife, but if I did, I would want her to know that I will always stand up for her, and take care of her and protect her— not just her body but her mind, and heart, and name as well— no matter what.”

* * *

Their initial plan, which was to just show up at the front gates of Maynooth Castle and request an audience with Thomas Fitzgerald, Earl of Kildare, was a miserable failure. They were ejected almost immediately. Apparently scruffy peasants who did not speak fluent Irish were less than welcome at the leader of the Rebellion’s stronghold.

In Lena’s defense, she’d been taken from Ireland when she was only four. Her native language was lost to her a long time ago.

As were many other parts of herself she’d never agreed to give up, each leaving its own, distinct wound, all well scarred over now. So much so sometimes it felt like there was nothing left but scar tissue, pink and puckered, nothing but a pockmarked crater where her heart once was. Except sometimes, on very rare occasions (that were actually becoming much less rare these days) she thought she could feel it beating again.

Regardless of her alleged heart, she was dejected. They’d come so far, so quickly, and it was finally starting to catch up with her. She was out of ideas, dried up, done. She had nothing left. So she did what’s customary in this situation: sat down in the dirt and cried.

Kara bent down, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Come on, Lena. We can figure this out. There’s got to be a way to get their attention.”

“I’m at a loss, Kara, I—”

A man wearing the distinctive uniform of the Earl's retainers stopped and interrupted the two of them. “Did you say ‘Kara’?”

Kara stood to square off against him. “What’s it to you?” She demanded with a scowl. Lena was clearly beginning to rub off on her.

“It’s me!” He tapped himself on the chest, “Kal, your cousin.”

“Kal?! How are you... What are you... I mean, I thought you were dead!”

“I thought _you_ were dead! But you’re here. In Maynooth. Dressed like a man...”

“I can explain.”

“I’m sure you can,” Kal said, laughing. He pulled Kara into a crushing hug, one that she happily returned. “Whatever it is, cousin, I don’t care. You’re alive, and that’s all that matters.”

When they finally parted Kara was smiling wide and bright like a light in the dark. It was one of the most beautiful things Lena had ever seen.

“Your mother is going to be so happy to see you. You will go back home to see her, won’t you? After your father died and you— well I guess you didn’t die, but that’s what we all— what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“My mother?”

“Yes, your mother. She’s staying with my parents in Dumfries.”

Kara started crying. “I thought she was dead. Are you sure? When was the last time you saw her?”

“It’s been a few months since I’ve laid eyes on her, but I received a letter just last week, and everyone is faring well.”

Kara hugged Kal again and then turned to wrap Lena in a firm, celebratory embrace. “Can you believe it?” She picked Lena up and spun her around. “It’s like my wildest dreams are coming true.”

Lena was not at all prepared for the thrill of being lifted in Kara’s arms like she weighed nothing at all. It sent a shiver through her entire body that made her skin break out in gooseflesh and her face tinge red.

But the high wore off quickly, most of it, leaving only a lingering ache in her gut. Lena was happy for Kara. It brought her great comfort to know that Kara was not alone in the world, but part of her could not help but feel a pang of inevitable loss. If Kara wasn’t alone anymore, what would she need Lena for?

Kara swayed back and forth with Lena in her arms, still weeping openly. “My mother is _alive_.”

* * *

“How did it go?”

Lena shut the door to their room behind her. “He said he owes us a debt, and that we can stay here under his protection as long as we like, and that whenever we want to leave he will ensure our safe passage wherever we want to go.”

Kara leapt up from the bed and pulled Lena into a hug. “We did it, Lena. We’re free.”

Lena clung to her, unable to keep the tears from coming. She’d spent every waking moment of this journey absolutely terrified, able to find respite only in Kara’s embrace. And now it was over, and she was in Kara’s arms once more, and she was finally safe. So of course she was sobbing.

Because their nightmare was over, but so was their association with one another. What reason did they have to stay together now? What were they to each other?

Kara just held her, stroking her hair while she cried. “It’s ok, Lena. It’s ok, I’m right here.”

That just made her cry harder. The more Kara comforted her, cooed softly at her, the more she held her, the worse it would hurt when the inevitable happened and Kara walked out of her life for good.

But it would hurt no matter what, so what difference did it make if she indulged herself? This might be the last time Lena would ever see her.

“Kara, I need you to make it ok.” Her voice was thick, pitched with desperation. “I need you to make everything that happened ok.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let me be your wife, in this room, just for a moment.”

“Lena...”

“ _Please_. Don’t you want to take care of me and protect me?”

“I don’t know how to be a husband.”

“Then just be you, Kara. That’s all I need.”

Kara sighed and looked away, hands falling to Lena’s waist, and her heart clenched because for one terrifying moment she thought Kara was going to reject her. But Kara didn’t. Instead she cupped Lena’s face with her hand. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please, Kara.”

She leaned in and placed a single, tender kiss to Lena’s mouth, a whimper caught in her throat. She pulled back, her brow furrowed. “Was that ok?”

“Kiss me again.”

This time was firmer. Kara lingered, parting her lips to run her tongue along the seam of Lena’s mouth. She was gentle but insistent, coaxing Lena’s mouth open so she could press inside. Her hands slipped under Lena's tunic to find bare skin. Lena gasped, pulled her tunic off and let it fall to the floor. She began to unbind her chest, but Kara stopped her.

“Let me?”

Lena nodded, and Kara slowly, reverently unwrapped the binding that covered her breasts.

“Wow,” Kara said, grinning dopily. “Can I touch you?”

Lena nodded again.

Kara traced her fingertips over the indentations in her skin left by her bindings, frowning sympathetically. “Can I kiss you here?”

“Yes. Please, Kara. You can do whatever you want.” She couldn’t make it any more plain than that. It was her basest desire: to be held in Kara’s thrall, to surrender to her completely.

“I just want to make you feel good.”

“Then do it.”

That was apparently the right thing to say, because Kara’s soft expression hardened into a look of determination and she deftly picked Lena off the ground into a bridal carry. Lena _did_ say she wanted to be Kara’s wife...

Kara deposited her on the bed, tugging her trousers off and standing back to remove her own clothes. Watching Kara undress, Lena was suddenly quite overwhelmed.

It was far from the first time Lena had been in this position, but it never felt like this before. Her desire had never made her feel this vulnerable before. She was helpless, her ribs cracked open and her fragile heart exposed. She could only hope that Kara was as gentle with it as she was with everything else about her.

“You’re so beautiful,” Kara said, moving overtop of her. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“You have?”

“God, yes. I’ve been dreaming about this since the first day I met you.” Kara bent her head and kissed Lena, slow and sweet, taking her time exploring her mouth before laying kisses down her neck and across her shoulders. Kara covered Lena’s chest in kisses, stopping to suck on Lena’s nipples, each in turn, until Lena was squirming beneath her, rolling her hips up into Kara’s leg in search of friction.

“Touch me Kara, _please_.” She took Kara’s wrist, guiding her hand down to her cunt. She needed Kara so badly.

Kara gasped. “You’re so wet.”

“That’s how much I want you.”

Kara slipped her fingers between Lena’s folds, spreading her slick all around, intermittently passing over her clit. “Like this?” She breathed against Lena’s mouth, swallowing her emphatic _yes_ in another kiss.

Lena moaned when Kara found her clit again, a jolt of pleasure zipping through her. “Right there, Kara. Do you feel that? Do you feel how hard I am? Can you feel me throbbing for you?”

“Yes,” Kara said, breathlessly. “You feel so good.” She was eager, and studious, singular in her dedication to Lena’s clit, once it was pointed out to her.

It was decadent, being touched like that. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she’d been treated with so much care. Kara was gentle and attentive in a way that made her heart ache.

It felt like love.

Kara’s every move, every expression, every word, even her body itself, felt like love. Lena knew it wasn’t _actually_ love. Kara was not _in love_ with her.

But maybe her hands were. They touched her everywhere, greedily, but she wasn’t taking pleasure, only giving it. Only reveling in Lena’s reaction to her touch like it was the only thing that mattered.

And maybe her mouth was too. She couldn’t stop sucking on Lena’s bottom lip, except when she was tonguing Lena's nipples stiff or dragging her mouth over Lena’s overheated skin.

And every fiber of Lena’s being loved any part of Kara she would give her, which at this very moment, was a lot. It was almost too much, too good.

What was she going to do when the moment ended?

Lena didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Kara kissing her cheeks, lips wet with her tears. She’d stopped touching her altogether except to wipe her face.

“Lena, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No, no of course not.” Kara didn’t hurt her. It was her absence that was going to hurt. “I’m just... no one’s touched me like that in a long time. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Kara said softly, pressing her forehead to Lena’s. “Just let me take care of you.”

Lena kissed her needily in response, sucking on Kara’s tongue, clutching at her, wrapping her legs around her waist and bucking up into her. “Inside, Kara. Please.”

“Inside?”

Lena covered Kara’s hand with her own and they moved in unison to Lena’s entrance. “There.” she said, leaving Kara’s fingers poised.

“Are you sure?”

“I need you.”

Kara pushed forward, gasping in unison with Lena as she entered her. “Oh my god. Oh, Lena.”

“Keep going, please. I need more.”

Kara nodded, and once she’d bottomed out, she kissed Lena tenderly. “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” Lena rasped out, voice thick.

“You’re so _warm_.” Kara said, breathlessly. “I love being inside you.” She began to fuck Lena gently, experimentally, swallowing her moans as they kissed. “Is this enough?” she asked, using the power of her hips behind her hand as she thrust.

“Yes, oh god, just don’t stop.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She didn’t want Kara to stop. She didn’t want to reach her peak and the heart-rending crash that came soon after. She wanted to be held in that moment, with Kara inside her, part of her, forever. She knew it had to end, but she hovered at the edge as long as she could.

Kara’s earnest praise was her undoing.

“You’re so beautiful, Lena. So soft. I wish I could stay buried inside you like this forever.”

The paroxysm hit Lena violently, and she spasmed around Kara’s fingers, crying out as she clutched at her. Kara kissed her face as she came down from her high, whispering praise in her ear while still inside her. When she made to pull out Lena stopped her.

“Stay, please.”

“I would love to,” Kara said, so happy and sincere. “Do you want more?” She wiggled her fingers inside Lena, just slightly.

“I want whatever you’ll give me.”

Kara brought Lena to her peak twice more, and even though she was far from sated, she couldn’t bear to be fucked again so sweetly. It would only make things harder for her.

“You can have your hand back now.”

“Are you sure?”

Lena nodded, attempting to swallow a sob and failing miserably.

Kara pulled out and gathered Lena into her arms. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I’ve just let myself get carried away with a flight of fancy.”

“What do you mean? Lena, please talk to me. How can I take care of you if I don’t know what’s wrong?”

“It’s not your job to take care of me.”

“But I’m your husband...”

“You’re not, Kara. You are far too good and kind to be tethered to me.”

“That’s not true, Lena. You’re good, you’re so good.”

“No. I should have never gotten you mixed up in all of this.”

“What? Mixed up in all of this? You rescued me. I’m free of that horrible place thanks to you. I owe you everything, Lena.”

“No. You have no obligation to me. You have your people.”

“What about you? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I might stay here for a while, maybe not. I haven’t decided.” She was trying to sound nonchalant, and not like the only thing in the world she really wanted was to follow Kara wherever she decided to go. “Are you going to find your mother?”

“Yeah, I am. I never thought I’d get to see her again. I have to go.”

“I imagine you’re not going to hang around here for long, then, are you?”

“No. I was going to take a few days to rest and then be on my way, but if—”

“That’s for the best, Kara.”

“I was thinking though. It’s a hard journey alone, and very dangerous.”

“I’m sure your cousin could accompany you, or one of the Earl’s men.”

“No, Lena. That’s not what I’m trying to...” Kara sighed, placing her palm on Lena’s chest, splaying out her fingers. “Lena. I need a companion to accompany me to Dumfries. I would like that companion to be you.”

“What? You want me to come with you? To meet your family?”

“Yes, Lena.” She sat up in the bed, pulling Lena up with her and taking both her hands. She looked down for a moment, sniffled and cleared her throat. “I know I’m not as good as a husband, but the way I feel about you is... If you give me the chance, I’ll love you more and better than any husband ever could.”

Lena had been fed many fanciful and preposterous lines by many disingenuous lovers, and she’d never cared about a single one. She wasn’t a fool. She knew paroxysm dulled the mind and loosened the tongue better than any spirit, and that post-coital promises held as much weight as a sack of feathers.

But this was different.

 _Kara_ was different.

She was earnest and kind and maddeningly optimistic. She’d knocked down Lena’s defenses and waltzed right into her heart, built a home for her love and what was burning there inside her would never go out. No matter what happened, Lena was sure of that.

“Is that... something you might want?”

“Yes, but only on one condition,” Lena said, trying to sound serious while grinning so wide it hurt.

“What is it? I’ll do anything.”

“You let me start the fire myself next time.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired, in part, by one of my favorite paintings, Artemisia Gentileschi's _Judith Slaying Holofernes_. I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://drfitzmonster.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/drfitzmonster): @drfitzmonster


End file.
